i dont really know why my brain is wired to feel such incredible feelings just by looking at a little guy with pretty colours just because i spent 12 hours trying to make him look like that. i guess i do understand and now i gotta figure out how to write allat out, i think my vocabulary is pretty good but i gotta make it better if i wanna figure out how to best articulate everything i think and feel but i think that skill will naturally improve the more i create this space. ALSO I JUST WANNA TAKE A MOMENT TO SAY GOOD JOB OLIVIA ON WORKING ON THE WEBSITE VERY WELL DONE :D but yeah my brain is really good at only seeking out things that bring me joy and tuning out and forgetting all the things that upset me. so it kinda lets me feel good almost all of the time, taking acid every few months also helps reinforce this feeling in my brain and luckily for me i had my wonderful lil tab yesterday and have now entered the next phase of my existence which is all so very exciting but this was just the natural result of everything.
i find myself feeling a little overwhelmed as i have decided that its very urgent we get everything onto this website and if im thinking then i sure as hell better be typing but unfortunately sometimes i gotta do other things like shower and eat and so i gotta go do that and i have an inkling im going to think things while i do those things and i wont have a keyboard infront of me to document those thoughts but i should just chill out because there is nothing stopping me from remembering the things i think and just thinking them again once im infront of a keyboard again and considering how much time (forever) i have to do this i think i should have no trouble recalling all of the thoughts ive ever had.
there are so many things and people i desperately want to learn about and i wish i could learn it all at once because im a lazy bastard but welp we just gotta go out there and seek it all out because thats how it all works.
i wrote all this and then moved it to this separate page away from the main homepage of my website because well i dont really know i just wanted to and thats reason enough and i will organise it further later on but ive done a lot of work today and i may resume some more work but i've had fun i learned a lot make sure to click on the shaman or dont its not too important also the japanese text in the title just simply says "hello world" i think its pretty neat i can type that out without having to use google translate and i cant wait to document a lot of my japanese learning on this website too itll be very fun and cool and will probably make it easier to recall everything i learn.
update: most of what was here has been moved to the "acid" section as most of the stuff here was written while i was high on acid and i think its appropriate to create a separate space for my acid thoughts, unfortunately that section wont be updated until my next tab which will be a while but perhaps ill discuss some thoughts on psychadelics over there maybe idk.